➤ Zombie disaster 🎮

In every party there is always the friend who tries to be nice by copying the jokes of the others, or repeating them like catchphrases until someone points out that more than funny, his voice sounds pathetic. He is the one who spends the hours of the day repeating the phrases of the films, hoping to get a few laughs; what you would like to throttle because it shows itself on every occasion appropriate as intestinal colic at a nudist party. Zombeer is the gaming equivalent of the aforementioned friend.

The idea of making a parody of zombie video games is not even bad, only in this case we are faced with a poorly made work that at best manages to parody itself. So we have the zombie epidemic spreading around the world and an American university student who has to save his woman from a zombie dean. The game's title comes from the only known antidote to the ultimate transformation: drinking beer. More precisely, drink the Zombeer, but in moderate quantities because doing it in excess would have the completely opposite effect to the desired, accelerating the mutation. This kind of plot results in one of the most annoying game mechanics ever tried in living memory, which not only requires you to go around constantly picking up bottles of beer, but also to drink them with lots of dedicated animation for a few seconds. But do we want to add annoyance to annoyance? The zombification bar runs out at a bewildering rate, to the point where you find yourself drinking beer every fifteen seconds to restore it. A real playful nightmare that tires after a few minutes, delivering the mind to a deep sense of frustration, due to the pounding questioning why the inclusion of such a destructive mechanics for the gonads, that it is not clear how he managed to pass a any game test, even an internal one conducted by the developers. What did they find beautiful in it?

Of dildos and other bad jokes

The mechanics of gulping beer were not enough to decree Zombeer a disaster, the rest of the game also comes to support our preliminary judgment. But let's go in order and return to the wounded friend described at the beginning of the previous paragraph.

As a parody Zombeer should at least try to be funny, reworking playful and narrative forms of other titles to exploit them in a context deformed by the comic skills of its authors. Unfortunately, we are facing a complete failure from this point of view as well. Let's take for example the first weapon: the dildo used as a club. Okay, in Saints' Row it was fun and a smile on its face. It also did well in the Shadow Warrior reboot, where it stood out for the contrast it created with the rest of the game. Why doesn't it work here? For the principle we have tried to expound above. Comedy has its own times and forms, that is, its own language that must be respected in order to produce the desired effect. The appearance of the dildo in Zombeer has the typical stench of the old joke told by those who can't do it: the story is there, it is the same as the one told by the great comedian, but it completely lacks the intonation and the times are all high. If you want we can enumerate the large number of recycled and unsuccessful gags present in the game, such as zombies that become tombstones, or the swimming zombie, but be content to know that we are below the level of a cinepanettone, or any b- movie, and that there is really nothing funny with jokes that make one regret the pecorecci films with Pippo Franco and Gianfranco d'Angelo.

Hurt yourself by reading our Zombeer review, bad game among bad games

Sparami who!

But at least the game is there? It's nice? It is funny? Part? You may be wondering in the throes of muscle spasms. We've already covered the terrifying mechanics of beer, but luckily Zombeer has many other bad mechanics to show off, as well as a great deal of bugs. For example, you spend three quarters of the game, which fortunately lasts a couple of hours, with terrifying weapons that it is not clear what they are firing.

The typical scene sees a zombie attacking us, we who shoot bursts without the shots slowing it down or producing feedback whatsoever (it is not clear even which are those who hit and those who miss the target), so the nice one does not - dead ends up on the ground suddenly becoming a tombstone with his name written on it. The first two weapons, excluding the dildo, use the same bullets and seem to differ only in the damage caused. The fourth and final weapon, a kind of shotgun, slightly changes the cards on the table, but is used for a very short time and, above all, does not produce any feedback when the shots hit. So you can shoot point blank at an enemy who is attacking you and you won't see him take a step back. Beautiful, is not it? Don't worry, because this was just the awful part of Zombeer. Now comes the catastrophic part. For example, in one of the first phases of the game you have to go through the turbine of a plane that has fallen on the school. To do this, you have to get a zombie inside to block it, then pass. Why work so hard when you can cross the scenery? Come on, just exploit the right bug and that's it. It is true that distinguishing game bugs in this case is difficult, but with a stretch of the imagination it can be done without problems. Another masterpiece of contemporary art are the interactive filmed events, or QTE for friends, completely free and out of place, which in case of failure they kill on the spot forcing you to reload the game. One would like them to be introduced in some way, instead they suddenly arrive mid-game in completely useless situations (at least they were spectacular ... not even that). Speaking of showmanship: We haven't seen graphics as bad as Zombeer's in years. We do not call it ugly just because it is badly made, but because it lacks a minimum of taste (asking for style seems too much), with animations from criminal charges and models of zombies coming out of the scraps of a failed production. Fortunately there is the terrible soundtrack to cheer us up and remind us that you can always do worse than you think.

Comment

Tested version PC Windows, PlayStation 3 Digital Delivery Steam, PlayStation Store Price 9,99 € / 14,99 $ Resources4Gaming.com

2.0

Readers (10)

5.4

Your vote

Fortunately, Zombeer doesn't last long. If you made the mistake of buying it, you will finish it in just over two hours and you will never play it again. Normally poor longevity is considered a defect, but here it is the only real advantage of what is otherwise a beautiful and good disaster, unable to offer a single interesting playful moment. We are beyond any chance of recovery, starting with some completely busted game mechanics, including shooter ones. Even the narrative side is something indescribably ugly and unsuccessful, made of a cloaca humor that can only snatch a smile from those who giggle regardless when they hear the swear words, because they make them feel rebels. There's really no reason to want Zombeer, other than some healthy self-harm or having to torture someone. In short, for once in your life love each other and forget it.